Pootisman

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Pootisman
Pootisman.png
Species
Human (clone)
Gender
Male
Weapons
A minigun
Enemies
Status
Alive
 Home Reality 

Pootisman was an anomalous clone of Heavy who encountered Yon and attended Kartouche's Moosical Extravaganza.

History[edit | edit source]

Early Life[edit | edit source]

Pootisman was an anomalous clone of Heavy who was created on one of the various Earths that existed in the Original Universe as part of a cloning project that also resulted in the creation of Demopan, FAAAK-Cupcake, See-Man, Seeldier, and countless other anomalous clones. Pootisman's obvious abnormalities when compared to his clone template caused him to be deemed to be a failure by the project leaders, so he was loaded onto a rocket along with many of the other anomalous clones and disposed of by being launched into space. Many of the clones, including Pootisman, survived the exodus and found new homes elsewhere in the universe.[1]

Adventures on Chocoman's Base[edit | edit source]

In 150,082 CMT, User Kon returned from a hiatus to the BZPB Multiverse and attempted to 'restore' all of the characters he had extracted at the time of his departure. However, some kind of error occurred that caused Etende, Kartouche, Kensa, Muta, Nyatera, and Yon to materialize inside the default spawn location for characters inside the BZPB multiverse, which was the area that Chocoman had constructed his base around.[1][2] Yon heard Pootisman say "pootis" as he and the new arrivals followed Chocoman into the entry tower, but was unable to determine the source.[3][4] Yon heard "pootis" again once inside the base, but louder that time.[5] Upon hearing "pootis" for a third time, Yon drew his pistol and challenged the source of the voice to show themselves. Pootisman accepted Yon's challenge and left his hiding place to charge at him,[6] whacking Yon into a rock while repeatedly screaming "POOTIS". Yon recovered and fired his pistol at his attacker, but Pootisman simply ate the bullet at no apparent harm to himself. In an attempt to escape, Yon stole a nearby spaceship and flew out of an airlock.[7]

However, Pootiman was not so easily deterred: he continued to chase Yon even after Mondas appeared and attacked Yon's ship. Yon heard Pootisman's signature "pootis" below him, so he caught See-Man's attention and pointed to the spot where he thought Pootisman would be, in the hope that See-Man would detect Pootisman and choose to fight him off.[8] Instead, See-Man pointed to Pootisman and shouted "SEE!" in a jovial manner as if pleased to see him.[9] Pootisman identified See-Man as a friend and greeted him, then identified Mondas as a threat. Pootisman produced a minigun from hammerspace and fired it at Mondas,[10] but the bullets passed through Mondas's gaseous form and did no damage.[11] Yon then parked his ship on the outer surface of Chocoman's base and fired an eyebeam into Pootisman, whose body absorbed the energy and converted it into an Übercharge that made him temporarily invincible. Pootisman fired at Mondas again,[12] but Mondas then disappeared because the battle was ridiculous. It seems that Pootisman disappeared at that moment too.[13]

Stouttish Islands Shenanigans[edit | edit source]

Later that year, Pootisman was teleported into a house on the Stouttish Islands with Yon, See-Man, and Dr. Hax. Hax announced that it was "tea time" and took out a tea set.[14]

Pootisman was not seen again until the Battle of Fresh Fruit, where he jumped out of the top floor of the Fresh Prince of Fresh Fruit's house and punched Wolverine[15] into a car. The Juggernaut then charged at Pootisman and punched him[16] back into TFPOFF's house, where Pootisman crashed into a chair.[17] The Juggernaut then burst through the walls of the house to finish Pootisman off,[18] but Pootisman got to his feet and summoned the strength to smash the floor with his fists, creating a shockwave.[19] The shockwave stumbled the Juggernaut, but not enough to deter his course completely,[20] so he reached Pootisman a second time and punched him again. Pootisman was not mentioned again in the battle, so it can be assumed that he was knocked unconscious.[21]

Log Cabin Lunatics[edit | edit source]

In 150,084 CMT, Pootisman was one of the many characters who visited Kartouche's Moosical Extravaganza on Tybion and fled onto Hungry-man's log cabin ship when the venue was stormed by an army of enraged Ta'har. The Ta'har boarded the log cabin as it took off from the planet, so the crowd of former concert attendees were forced to defend themselves in a battle that became known as the Battle of the Log Cabin.[1] Towards the end of the battle, Pootisman charged at the remaining Ta'har[22] and surrounded them with the other survivors.[23]

Goldenn Flame allowed one of the Ta'har, Ta'harva, to pay her respects at the bodies of her comrades,[24] but this was merely a ruse so that she could get close enough to the bodies to pour an unidentified substance over them that transformed them into Chainlingtons.[25] Ta'harva fatally stabbed Goldenn Flame in the ensuing chaos,[26] which alerted Pootisman and the others. Pootisman paid his respects to Goldenn Flame's corpse and said "You are dead. Big surprise".[27] He later said "Pootis!", so FAAAK-Cupcake told him to "SHAAAAT AAAAP!".[28]

The engines of the log cabin ship were then sabotaged by Juan Avem, which caused the ship to teleport to Meme World and crash into its surface. Pootisman survived the crash and emerged from the wreckage in time to witness the appearance of GregF, who demonstrated to the joke characters that Goldenn Flame had been a mere clone of the original Golden Flame.[29] Pootisman expressed his surprise at the revelation.[30] Pootisman also witnessed Hungry-man eat Carrots, which similarly shocked him.[31]

Later, Pootisman was one of the Meme World inhabitants who Ade asked to help her turn the tide of the Terugan Civil War. Pootisman ignored her and screamed sentence-mixed obscenities with Mr. Blobby instead, so Ade took that to mean that he had rejected her offer.[32]

Abilities & Powers[edit | edit source]

  • Hammerspace: Pootisman kept a minigun stored in a pocket of hammerspace that he could access at will.[10]
  • Independent Übercharge: Pootisman seemed to able to absorb energy and convert it into an "Übercharge", a state of invincibility that lasted for approximately ten seconds. When Übercharged, Pootisman's skin became chrome red and impenetrable.[12]

Trivia[edit | edit source]

  • Pootisman was a tribute to various Garry's Mod machinimas that featured the Team Fortress 2 character Heavy. "Pootis" is also a meme associated with the character.

References[edit | edit source]