Dedotated Wam

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Dedotated Wam
Homeworld
Affiliation
Status
Destroyed
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The Dedotated Wam was an intangible power source and plot device that the Dong Squad discovered on Meme World.

Description[edit | edit source]

The Dedotated Wam was described as being a seemingly formless and partially intangible artifact that was constantly shifting and changing, though in all forms it emitted a bright white light that intensified when the artifact was in use. It was also able to be held and separated into smaller but still-functional pieces despite its partially intangible nature. In the right hands, the Dedotated Wam could be 'overloaded' to create destructive explosions, but its most common use was as an alternative power source for electrical machinery, such as computer systems.[1] Although it was partially intangible, it was still destructible, as was made obvious when it was destroyed in the crash of the Dong Squad's spaceship in the Dark Mirror Universe.[2]

History[edit | edit source]

In 150,084 CMT, Tiny the Dwarf embarked on a search for the Dedotated Wam in the hope that he would be able to use the Wam to play HD videogames on his computer and improve the efficiency of his bazooka. His search eventually took him to an underground area of Meme World where Tommy Wiseau had created a four-dimensional projection of The Room around the Dong Squad with the power of the Mask of Loki.[1] Tiny incorrectly assumed that the Dong Squad were also there to search for the Dedotated Wam, so he approached them and asked them what the recommended amount of "dedotated wam in a twiple" was.[3] However, the Dong Squad were baffled by Tiny's question, and instead asked him to explain what he was doing there. Tiny replied that he was looking for some "wam" for his computer and bazooka, but failed to explain what the Dedotated Wam actually was. Rather than attempt to decipher Tiny's nonsensical dialogue, Jesse Ventura explained to the dwarf that they had all been trapped in an automated event chain of The Room. In response, Tiny offered to help the Dongers escape.[4]

Tiny accompanied the Dong Squad until Tommy Wiseau teleported them all to a volcanic underground chamber elsewhere on Meme World and attacked them with a bat-like steed.[5] In the battle that followed, the Dedotated Wam was revealed as being buried inside the central volcano of the chamber when Wiseau's steed stepped onto the roof of the volcano, which caused the Dedotated Wam to emit a bright white light that shined through the cracks of the rock. Tiny immediately recognized the light of the Dedotated Wam and ran towards the volcano to claim his prize, but inadvertently gained the attention of Wiseau in doing so. Wiseau deduced that the Wam was an artifact of great power and dove into the opening of the volcano in an effort to claim the Wam for himself. With not a moment to spare, Tiny fired a perfect shot from his bazooka at the center of the volcano which blasted Wiseau across the chamber and caused the structure to crumble, revealing the Dedotated Wam underneath. Tiny discarded his bazooka and lifted the Wam out of the debris, but was immediately cornered and attacked by Wiseau's steed. Knowing that his death was close at hand, Tiny recited a prayer to the Dedotated Wam in which he envisaged all the amazing improvements the Wam would have made to his home computer if he had lived long enough to return home and install it. Tiny then resigned himself to his fate and allowed himself to be snapped up into the jaws of Wiseau's steed, where he lodged the Wam into the creature's throat and powered up the artifact, intending to cause an overload. As Tiny had predicted, the Dedotated Wam exploded, killing the creature but also himself.[6]

Despite the fact that the Dedotated Wam was at the center of the explosion, the artifact itself survived intact (due to its somewhat intangible nature). BONES declared that the Dedotated Wam would be taken back to the Dong Squad's spaceship because it appeared to be a valuable power source, which gave Yon the idea that the Dedotated Wam could be used to power the ship itself.[6] After the final battle against Wiseau, in which Yon, See-Man, Shrek, and the Hand were all killed, the Dedotated Wam was recovered and stored in the Dong Squad's vault.[7]

On Day 4 of The Mazkertis Paradox arc, Hungry-man proposed that the Dedotated Wam be used to power up the communications system of the Dong Squad's spaceship so that the Dong Squad could update Lord Zrintch on their situation. Jesse Ventura approved of Hungry-man's idea and ordered an Ayy-Lmalium to fetch the Dedotated Wam from the ship's vault and bring it to the communications deck. As Ventura prepared to insert the Dedotated Wam into the power input of the communications system, he realized that the Wam in its present form was likely to only be able to power one part of the ship at once because it could only be inserted into one input socket at once. To remedy this, Ventura physically tore the Dedotated Wam into two halves, guessing that its incorporeal structure would allow it to be divided while still retaining its functionality. Ventura's gamble paid off when he inserted one half into the communications system and saw that it was still able to power up the system. Ventura handed the other half of the Dedotated Wam to an Ayy-Lmalium crewmember for them to use to power up the ship's engines. The Ayy-Lmalium crew managed to siphon enough power from the second half of the Dedotated Wam to reboot the ship's computational systems and restore power to the engines, enabling the Dong Squad and Wang Gang to finally leave Meme World.[7]

On Day 69, the Dedotated Wam was destroyed when the Dong Squad's original spaceship was shot down by Kek in the Dark Mirror Universe.[8] The Dong Squad tried to salvage the Dedotated Wam from the wreckage of the ship, but found that there was nothing left of it to salvage.[2]

Trivia[edit | edit source]

  • The phrase "Dedotated Wam" was a mispronunciation of "Dedicated RAM" said by a child at a Minecraft convention. This child also served as the inspiration for Tiny the Dwarf.[1]
  • Ironically, Hungry-man, who speaks with a slur and pronounces most words incorrectly, was the only BZPB character to pronounce "Dedotated Wam" as "Dedicated RAM".[7]

References[edit | edit source]