Tiny the Dwarf

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Tiny the Dwarf
Species
Unknown
Gender
Male
Weapons
  • A bazooka
  • Various other firearms
Allies
Enemies
Status
Deceased
 Home Reality 
"even tho i walk thru the valley of the shadow of death, i fear no evil, for u are with me; ur high-res graphics and superiore textures, they comfort me. u run minecraft at extra-fast speed and kill all zombie villagers. the wam will follow me all the days of my life, and i will dwell in my birch wood house forever in the basement next to my nether portel. amen"
Tiny's prayer to the Dedotated Wam[1]

Tiny the Dwarf was an inhabitant of Meme World who helped the Dong Squad to battle Tommy Wiseau.

History[edit | edit source]

In 150,084 CMT, Tiny the Dwarf embarked on a search for the Dedotated Wam in the hope that he would be able to use the Wam to play HD videogames on his computer and improve the efficiency of his bazooka. His search eventually took him to an underground area of Meme World where Tommy Wiseau had created a four-dimensional projection of The Room around the Dong Squad with the power of the Mask of Loki.[2] Tiny incorrectly assumed that the Dong Squad were also there to search for the Dedotated Wam, so he approached them and asked them what the recommended amount of "dedotated wam in a twiple" was.[3] However, the Dong Squad were baffled by Tiny's question and instead asked him to explain what he was doing there. Tiny replied that he was looking for some "wam" for his computer and bazooka, but failed to explain what the Dedotated Wam actually was. Rather than attempt to decipher Tiny's nonsensical dialogue, Jesse Ventura explained to the dwarf that they had all been trapped in an automated event chain of The Room. In response, Tiny offered to help the Dongers escape.[4]

In a violation of the fourth wall, Tiny recognized Soldier as originating from a videogame named Team Fortress 2. Tiny began to rant about how Minecraft was better than TF2, but was distracted when No Image Guy turned into his digital virus form and started flying around the room in an attempt to scare Tiny into silence. Tiny was terrified by the apparition and assumed that it was the Dedotated Wam which had somehow come to life, causing him to hide behind a sofa in fear. However, Tiny soon realized the truth and emerged from the sofa in time to listen to Randolph Moloch's plan as to how the Dong Squad could manipulate the world of The Room to their advantage to gain an audience with Wiseau. Tiny followed the Dong Squad into The Room's flower shop and helped them to destroy all its merchandise so that Wiseau would be forced to buy the Shell-Shocked Cat as a gift for his fictional fianceé instead of flowers.[5] Wiseau purchased the Shell-Shocked Cat as planned and took it back to his home, but the Dong Squad's plan was exposed moments later when the cat called and talked to Yon in Wiseau's presence.[6]

Enraged, Wiseau teleported Tiny and the Dongers to a volcanic underground battle chamber elsewhere on Meme World and attacked them with a bat-like steed.[6] In the battle that followed, the Dedotated Wam was revealed as being buried inside the central volcano of the chamber when Wiseau's steed stepped onto the roof of the volcano, which caused the Dedotated Wam to emit a bright white light that shined through the cracks of the rock. Tiny immediately recognized the light of the Dedotated Wam and ran towards the volcano to claim his prize, but inadvertently gained the attention of Wiseau in doing so. Wiseau deduced that the Wam was an artifact of great power and dove into the opening of the volcano in an effort to claim the Wam for himself. With not a moment to spare, Tiny fired a perfect shot from his bazooka at the center of the volcano which blasted Wiseau across the chamber and caused the structure to crumble, revealing the Dedotated Wam underneath. Tiny discarded his bazooka and lifted the Wam out of the debris, but was immediately cornered and attacked by Wiseau's steed. Knowing that his death was close at hand, Tiny recited a prayer to the Dedotated Wam in which he envisaged all the amazing improvements the Wam would have made to his home computer if he had lived long enough to return home and install it. Tiny then resigned himself to his fate and allowed himself to be snapped up into the jaws of Wiseau's steed, where he lodged the Wam into the creature's throat and powered up the artifact, intending to cause an overload. As Tiny had predicted, the Dedotated Wam exploded, killing the creature but also himself.[1]

The surviving members of the Dong Squad soon seemed to forget about Tiny's sacrifice or simply did not care, because he was not honored in their later funeral for Yon, See-Man, Shrek, and the Hand.[7] Despite this, Big Man Tyrone learned of the death of Tiny and expressed his condolences to the Dong Squad for their fallen ally.[8] BONES later remembered Tiny as a "retarded dwarf" and lamented the fact that he had died because Tiny had been the only expert on the Dedotated Wam that the Dong Squad had encountered on Meme World.[9]

Trivia[edit | edit source]

  • Tiny the Dwarf was created by Brock, a mutual acquaintance of Klak, Kon, and Nif, when he was asked to create a Meme World character for use in the RPG. He was partially based on the child in this video.[2]

References[edit | edit source]