Agent 47
| Agent 47 | |
|---|---|
 | |
| Species |
Human (clone)
|
| Gender |
Male
|
| Age |
50
|
| Allies | |
| Enemies | |
| Status |
Alive
|
| Home Reality | |
Agent 47 was a genetically-engineered assassin who was broken out of Supermax 282 by Strika and Captain Eurobeat, who wished to use his abilities to eliminate Mazkertis.
History[edit | edit source]
Early Life[edit | edit source]
Agent 47 had a long and distinguished career as an assassin until he was captured and and imprisoned in Supermax 282. Unlike most of the rest of the prisoners there, 47 was able to mostly resist the mind-altering effects of the ambient HahaJ'UsT-Seying energy in the prison due to his unique psychological patterns and training. However, he still experienced minor symptoms of long-term exposure, such as involuntarily repeating certain phrases he used during his career; specifically a request he once made to use the bathroom somewhere.[1]
Unknown to the prison's staff, 47 smuggled in a covert, high-tech earpiece that he managed to connect to the prison's Wi-Fi. 47 used this earpiece to reestablish contact with the organization he once worked for and update them on his situation. Though it proved impossible for him to be extracted from Supermax 282, he continued to receive contracts for targets that also inhabited the prison, such as dangerous criminals that powerful people wanted dead.[1]
Encounter with the Critics[edit | edit source]
In 150,084 CMT, Agent 47 watched a new batch of prisoners arrive at Supermax 282: Doug Walker, Spoony, Linkara, Paul Latza, Dr. Bedge, Mortimer Moloch, and Seran Dol-Abi. After spending his morning secretly watching them from his cell, he followed and sat next to them in the mess hall at lunchtime. Though he introduced himself as "Agent 47", he said nothing about his past or his current situation, leading the new arrivals to believe that he was just another mentally unstable inmate.[2] Moments later, Mortimer bumped into Koranis and received a painful headbutt in return, so Seran asked 47 what he knew about Koranis to determine whether the Glatorian was a threat. 47 recalled all the information he had gathered on Koranis from Galactic Government databases and told Seran an abridged version of Koranis's backstory. 47 then excused himself from the table to go to the bathroom.[3]
Inside the bathroom, 47 entered one of the toilet stalls and came face to face with a "butt ghost", which manifested as a face in the bowl. 47 divulged to the ghost that he had received a contract to eliminate it,[4] but before he could, JC Denton burst into the bathroom, ran into the stall next to him, and started talking to inanimate objects again.[5] 47 correctly assumed that having Denton as a witness would not complicate matters, because whatever Denton said would be disregarded as the ravings of a madman, so 47 finished his conversation with the butt ghost, eliminated it by flushing the toilet, and returned to the Critics' table.[6]
47 told the Critics that he had been monitoring them because someone had contracted him to help them escape the prison, thus making the Critics vital mission components. Right on cue, the contractor approached them and revealed himself as a Russian man named Mikhail, a.k.a. Heavy. Doug instantly recognized Heavy as the man who had previously blackmailed him for $200,000 (which was intercepted and stolen by Ross Mandell before Doug could deliver it to Heavy). Though Doug suspected that Heavy only wanted them both out of the prison so that he could use him to get to the $200k again, Doug resigned to the fact that he had no other hope of escape, so he agreed to go along with Heavy and Agent 47's plan. Heavy told 47, the Critics, and their allies to meet him in the mess hall's supply closet at lunchtime the following day, which was where he would outline his plan of escape.[6]
As per their agreement, 47 and the other hopeful escapees met with Heavy in the supply closet the following day. Heavy outlined his plan, which involved them stowing away in the kitchen's trash cans to be loaded aboard a Gabagool Inc. disposal ship departing the prison.[7] When the time came to put this plan into action, the prisoners made it to the kitchen, but Koranis, who was performing an escape attempt of his own, was already there. The Glatorian mistook them for guards and attacked them, so they were forced to defend themselves. Unfortunately, the sounds of their conflict alerted the guards, who reported the commotion to the Vice-Warden, Amobb Banks. Banks ordered the guards to investigate the kitchen and, if they encountered escaped prisoners, to use any means necessary to subdue them, including lethal force.
Banks soon broke into the kitchen with a platoon of guards and attacked the escapees. 47 identified Banks to his allies[8] and, after throwing a shank at Banks's chest[9], knocked the Vice-Warden unconscious with a punch to the face.[10] Those closest to the exit bulkhead made it through when it opened, but 47's path was blocked by a sudden influx of guards, so he was overwhelmed and taken back to his cell. When he woke up, he saw Javert and Lemongrab walk past him and express satisfaction that he had been contained.[11]
The Mazkertis Paradox[edit | edit source]
Later that year, President Trump realized that, if he sent Agent 47 to kill Mazkertis (who had rejected Trump's offer and embarrassed him in front of the Kindred of Dawn a few weeks earlier) and his minions, it would be a satisfying revenge and a message to anyone else who was thinking of wronging him. Trump decided that he would make another attempt to release 47 from Supermax 282 after first attending the 3784th Assembly of the Reverie.[12]
To Trump's surprise, when the assembly of the Reverie rolled around, it was interrupted by four characters who also wanted to see Mazkertis defeated: Captain Eurobeat, Strika, Niflheim, and Leviathan. The four intruders requested the attending delegates' help in locating Mazkertis and putting a stop to his reign of terror, but the chairman of the meeting and most of the diplomats were uninterested, so Trump floated down on his podium to meet these characters before they could leave empty-handed. He made them an offer: if they rescued three of his assassins from Supermax 282 (Agent 47 included), they could use them to kill Mazkertis, and would secure the permanent allegiance of Earth in their activities by doing so. They agreed to Trump's proposition, so he gave them the mugshots and identification numbers of Agent 47, Seeldier, and the Joker and directed them towards the prison they were held in: Supermax 282.[12]
When the allies arrived on Supermax 282, Strika located Agent 47's cell, but was unable to break through it because it was made of adamantium. 47 introduced himself to the Cybertronian and asked some obvious questions - when she revealed that the "President of Earth" had sent her to break him out, 47 happily agreed to help. He told her that the only way to free him was by blowing a power box on a nearby wall, which would cut power to all the cells' locking mechanisms, freeing all the prisoners at once. Strika decided that the release of these criminals was a small price to pay for the help of some powerful allies that they could use against Mazkertis, so she obeyed, blowing the power box and freeing 47. 47 followed Strika and introduced himself to her allies as a Hitman™ who was more than capable of killing Mazkertis, provided they gave him a time and a place. They proceeded to Seeldier's cell and secured his allegiance too, but were unable to find the last assassin before he escaped with the other prisoners. Upon being shown the last assassin's picture, 47 told them that the Joker wouldn't have been much use to them anyway, because, although he had talent, he was "unreliable and absolutely insane", and that it "probably won't be long before he's caught again and put back where he belongs".[12]
