Tommy Wiseau's steed
| Tommy Wiseau's steed | |
|---|---|
| Species |
Unknown
|
| Gender |
Unknown
|
| Allies | |
| Enemies | |
| Status |
Deceased
|
| Home Reality | |
Tommy Wiseau's steed was a large bat-like creature that Tommy Wiseau rode in his battle against the Dong Squad.
History[edit | edit source]
In 150,084 CMT, Tommy Wiseau teleported the Dong Squad and Tiny the Dwarf to a volcanic battle chamber where he prepared to attack the Dongers. Wiseau donned the Mask of Loki and materialized above a giant bat-like steed that appeared to screech Wiseau's name as a battle cry.[1] In the battle that followed, Merasmus launched a bomb at Wiseau's steed,[2] but it simply ate the bomb at no harm to itself and flew towards the Dongers. The creature grabbed Pumkin in its claws and launched him at One-Punch Man, knocking both combatants unconscious, and flapped its wings to create a strong wind that blew Ainsley Harriott and the Ayy-Lmaliums away. Jesse Ventura grabbed Wiseau's steed and attempted to wrestle it to the ground, but was savagely bitten and was forced to use his Bat-Germ and Illuminati Repellent spray in a attempt to stave off the creature. However, Ventura fell asleep after inhaling the fumes of the repellent because one of its side effects was to cause unconsciousness in humans. The creature proceeded to blast Soldier with a power scream so intense that the mercenary also fell unconscious.[3]
BONES swung a sword at the creature while See-Man tried to punch it, but both of their attacks were blocked by an energy shield formed by Wiseau. Before Wiseau's steed could finish off the remaining Dongers, a rocket fired by Sasha created an explosion that blasted the creature across the cavern and opened a pathway for Sasha, King Harkinian, the Reddit Alien, and LeTrole Rusemann to enter the arena. Sasha threw CDs[3] while Harkinian fired at the creature's underbelly with his D1NN3R BLASTER and Yon used Ventura's minigun to shred its wings with a hailstorm of bullets. The creature roared in pain and retreated back up the volcano, which somehow caused the Dedotated Wam that was hidden inside the volcano to activate, its light penetrating the cracks in the cavern and alerting Tiny to its presence. Tiny's ecstatic reaction to discovering the Dedotated Wam led Wiseau to deduce that it was another powerful artifact, so he leaped off his steed and into the top of the volcano in an attempt to claim it for himself. With not a moment to spare, Tiny fired a perfect shot from his bazooka at the center of the volcano that blasted Wiseau across the chamber and caused the structure to crumble, separating Wiseau from his prize and revealing the Dedotated Wam underneath. Tiny recovered the Wam from the debris, but was immediately engulfed by Wiseau's steed.[4]
Knowing that he had only seconds to live when faced against Wiseau's steed, Tiny decided to sacrifice himself for the Dongers' cause and allow himself to be eaten with the Dedotated Wam. When Wiseau's steed snapped up Tiny into its jaws, Tiny forced the Dedotated Wam into the creature's throat and activated the device, intending to cause an overload. The creature thrashed around and struggled for air but could do nothing as the Dedotated Wam exploded, blasting both Wiseau's steed and the remains of Tiny the Dwarf into chunks of meat that rained down over the Dongers and their allies. Despite the fact that the Dedotated Wam was at the center of the explosion, the artifact itself survived intact due to its somewhat intangible nature.[4]
On Day 4 of The Mazkertis Paradox arc, BONES recalled Wiseau's steed and lamented the fact that it had killed Tiny because Tiny was the only character they had met who knew how the Dedotated Wam functioned.[5]
