McYonalds

McYonalds
Membership Information
Founders	Yon Merasmus
Location Information
Headquarters	The Stouttish Islands
Status Information
Status	Existing
Home Reality	Original Universe

"It doesn't matter if you have one eye or two, we'll get around to serving you."

―The McYonalds company motto

McYonalds (sometimes referred to as McYonald's) is a fast food business that was founded as a restaurant by Yon and Merasmus on the Stouttish Islands.

Description

List of known products

Present

The McYonalds branch on the Stouttish Islands in the present sold these products:

• Burgers
  • McRide™ Burgers
• Teruberry Shake
• Peelz™ (pills that increase magical potency)
• Tuna

Future

The McYonalds branch in Task City in the near future sold these products (that may also exist in the present):

• Chicken Yonnuggets
• Double cheeseburger with fries
• McRasmus-Style Cornflakes
• Vanilla Coca-Cola

History

The Grand Opening

In 150,083 CMT, Yon, who had been stuck on the Stouttish Islands for over a year, decided to set up a fast food restaurant chain as a way to occupy himself and generate an income. Yon presented his idea to Merasmus under the alias of "Yonald" and was somehow able to convince the wizard to pledge enough funds to establish the restaurant, which Yon named "McYonalds" after a certain other fast food chain, on the Stouttish Islands with Merasmus as the co-owner.

Shortly after McYonalds opened to the public, Merasmus visited the restaurant and found that it was closed, despite it being a weekday. Merasmus entered the kitchen and found Yon asleep on the job with his face flat on the grill, which prompted Merasmus to turn it on and wake him up. Merasmus began to berate Yon for not taking his new job seriously, but was interrupted by the sudden arrival of Pumkin. Yon groaned and started to throw various food items at Pumkin, which Yon claimed was the only tactic that could make Pumkin leave, but Pumkin only ate half of the food items and rejected the rest. As Merasmus used the Bombinomicon to launch a bomb at Pumkin, See-Man entered McYonalds and watched as Pumkin swallowed the bomb whole with no adverse effects. Demopan then followed See-Man inside and crafted a Stout Shako hat that he placed on Pumkin's head, which caused Pumkin to decide that McYonalds was terrible and that he would never go back there, much to the relief of Yon and Merasmus. Moments after Pumkin's exit, a portal opened in the middle of the restaurant that a Pirate Lord soldier emerged from and requested Yon to accompany him. Merasmus wasted no time in pushing Yon into the portal, which took the Terugan to Liquid-Metallicon. In Yon's absence, Merasmus was left as the sole proprietor of McYonalds.

On Liquid-Metallicon, Lalli Cain read the word "McYonalds" on Yon's company uniform and said "McYonalds? Isn't that the restaurant in the Stouttish Islands?", but Yon did not hear him.

Meanwhile, the Hand broke into the McYonalds on the Stouttish Islands and started to grope one of the grills. Merasmus sensed the Hand's presence in the restaurant and teleported inside, ordering the Hand to leave, but the Hand merely flipped Merasmus off and jumped on the wizard's head, knocking off his skull-hat in the process. Merasmus was so enraged by the Hand's behavior that he simply stormed out of McYonalds and drove away.

The Gathering of the Dong Squad

In 150,084 CMT, One-Punch Man appeared in the McYonalds on the Stouttish Islands when it was closed for the night. One of McYonalds' employees, No Image Guy, informed Saitama that the restaurant was closed, but the costumed warrior angrily replied "THINGS ARE NEVER CLOSED FOR ONE PUNCH MAN!" and punched No Image Guy in the face. No Image Guy's existence as a digital construct meant that Saitama's fist could simply phase through his head at no harm to himself, but No Image Guy strengthened the density of his leg to kick Saitama into a wall. As Saitama admitted defeat, See-Man entered the restaurant and Full-man walked by, though the latter decided not to enter McYonalds because he was already full. No Image Guy then properly introduced himself to Saitama and offered him some rancid leftover food which Saitama rejected with a punch. Saitama asked for some tuna instead, so No Image Guy asked another employee, "Phoebe" (the Shell-Shocked Cat in disguise) if there was tuna available, but she replied that there was not. Before No Image Guy could think of an alternative solution to Saitama's woes, See-Man used the McYonalds' "Closed" sign to remind No Image Guy that the restaurant was supposed to be closed. No Image Guy acknowledged that See-Man was right and told Saitama to come back in the morning.

Meanwhile, BONES and a couple of LGAMs beamed down to the Stouttish Islands with the intention to form a crack team of joke characters to steal powerful artifacts for Lord Zrintch and prevent the "HAPPENING". Pumkin informed BONES that he would find his future recruits at McYonalds and accompanied BONES and the LGAMs to the restaurant, bursting through its doors in a spectacular entrance. In that moment, the Shell-Shocked Cat and No Image Guy both sensed that they were required for a higher purpose, so they discarded their McYonalds uniforms and signed up. BONES checked his list and saw that the next character that Zrintch wanted him to recruit was the Hand, which then resided in Merasmus's mansion, so BONES grabbed a map of the Stouttish Islands from a counter and left with his new recruits.

While the Dong Squad were on their adventures, McYonalds continued to gain recognition and popularity across the universe. GregF was seen enjoying a McYonalds-branded Teruberry Shake when he appeared to Kranxx, Goldenn Flame, TTT, and Car Guard on Malchior IV, and the Knights of the Keruvim member Ike was seen eating a McYonalds-branded McRide burger while stationed at his post on an orbital space station above Vizima. McYonalds products even continued to aid the Dong Squad in an entirely different universe, as a bottle of McYonalds-brand pills gave Merasmus the boost in strength he needed to escape from DM Hugh Neutron while on the Dong Squad's perilous mission to meet the Pennis And Also Dicke And Balls Bureau in the Dark Mirror Universe.

The Future: Mysteries Unlimited

By 150,099 CMT, another McYonalds restaurant had opened on the Main Street of Task City, Earth. Rainn Sulrai decided to gather the detectives of Sulrai Private Eye in the Main Street McYonalds to discuss their findings about the wave of bank robberies that had hit the city. Rainn texted Jimmy Agnese (presumably as a mistake, as Rainn would have been trying to text Jasper Silverwood instead) and the Masketta Man, telling both men to meet him at McYonalds once their investigations had been completed. Rainn then drove Aster and himself to McYonalds and, when he answered a phone call from Jasper, instructed Jasper to meet them at McYonalds too. Jasper misheard Rainn's instructions and mistakenly entered McYeelds Prehistoric Takeaways instead, but soon left the establishment when he realized his mistake and proceeded into McYonalds, which was located on the opposite side of the street. Jasper met up with only Rainn and Aster inside because Masketta Man was too busy to attend (though Rainn did call him and put him on speakerphone so that he could share his thoughts with the group). Rainn ordered a double cheeseburger with fries, Jasper ordered a medium helping of McRasmus-Style Cornflakes with vanilla soda, and Aster ordered some chicken Yonnuggets. Jasper was somewhat bewildered when a waitress delivered his order as a box and a can with no bowls or cups, prompting him to comment "Am I... expected to eat this from the box? Like a savage?". However, Jasper relented and decided to embrace the McYonalds culture by eating the food straight from the box, as it had been served to him.