Matter converter

The matter converter was a large, oblong-shaped device that was designed to break down matter and convert it into energy. It is currently serving as a replacement engine for the TSS Jet-Ball II.

History

The matter converter was originally installed at the base of the gigantic toilet present in Hungry-man's flying log cabin, which itself seemed to have been built for giants. The matter converter's intended purpose was to break down matter (in this case, fecal) and convert it into energy that would then be redirected into the ship's systems to help power it.

In 150,084 CMT, the matter converter was used for a more sinister purpose. Bane held Juan Avyu, an ally of Bill "CIA" Wilson, above the toilet that contained the matter converter and threatened to drop him in unless he gave up Wilson's location. Avyu refused, so Bane dropped him, and another one of his men flushed him down. Avyu became trapped in the matter converter at the base of the toilet, and it did its job by converting the matter that made up most of his body into energy - with the exception of his skeleton, which it seemed unable to convert for some reason.

When the log cabin crashed on Meme World and the survivors began taking it apart to build shelters, the giant toilet was dismantled too and the matter converter was discovered. Unfortunately, the woman who discovered it also saw Juan Avyu's bare skeleton still attached to it, so she let out a loud scream. In a bizarre twist of fate, this scream caught the attention of the Dong Squad, who urgently needed a fresh skeleton to transfer BONES's essence into (for his skeleton had been severely damaged in his battle with Tommy Wiseau). With the help of the Ayy-Lmaliums, they managed to transfer BONES's essence into Juan Avyu's skeleton, so, in a sense, the matter converter saved BONES's life.

The matter converter soon caught the attention of Pav, the chief engineer of the TSS Jet-Ball II, another vessel that had been marooned on Meme World. Pav was confident that he could reprogram the matter converter to serve as a new engine for the Jet-Ball II, but there was one thing stopping him: Kartouche had already found the matter converter and was refusing to part with it unless he received a payment of three million credits. Ade, the captain of the Jet-Ball II, managed to convince Jesse Ventura to write out a cheque for three million and buy the matter converter for her. Kartouche was satisfied with the transaction, so he had a squadron of defeated Ta'har carry it into the Jet-Ball II. Pav succeeded in reprogramming the matter converter to serve as a replacement engine for the ship.

The matter converter remains a part of the Jet-Ball II to this day, which is currently on the surface of Teruga Prime.