Kek (entity)
| Kek | |
|---|---|
 | |
| Formal Name |
Kermit
|
| Species |
Unknown
|
| Gender |
Male
|
| Enemies | |
| Status |
Deceased
|
| Home Reality | |
This article is about the entity formerly known as Kermit in the Dark Mirror Universe. For other characters named Kek, see Kek (disambiguation).
Kek, formerly Kermit, was the version of Kermit the Frog that existed in the Dark Mirror Universe. Before Lord Zrintch's most recent stay in the Original Universe, Zrintch turned the Force-sensitive Kermit to the Dark Side for him to test the mettle of Zrintch's original strike team, the Pennis And Also Dicke And Balls Bureau, while he was away. When the Dong Squad had finished collecting all of the artifacts that Zrintch needed to fulfil Mazkertis's plan, Zrintch sent the Dongers to the Dark Mirror Universe, intending for them to encounter and battle Kek so that, regardless of who was killed, an element of his plan that he no longer had use for would be eliminated. In this inevitable confrontation, Kek was scared away by the PAADABB before the Dongers could properly do battle with him, but was eventually killed when the Dongers and PAADABBers teamed up to hunt down and kill Kek once and for all.
History[edit | edit source]
Early Life & Downfall[edit | edit source]
Kek was once just an anthropomorphic frog named Kermit who had his own TV show that was widely televised across his home universe, the Dark Mirror Universe. He was also an acquaintance of several members of the Pennis And Also Dicke And Balls Bureau. Though originally a pleasant and joyful individual, Kermit began walking down a dark path when his show was cancelled and his girlfriend left him. Lord Zrintch exploited Kermit's agony to turn him to the Dark Side of the Force, training him in the dark arts in order to increase his capacity for destruction. This process somehow caused him to grow to several times his previous size and gain two new sets of arms. After learning about the Egyptian god of chaos named Kek, who was also a frog-like creature, Kermit took his name as his own and became the new god of chaos (Caiaphus did not exist in this universe, or the title would have surely been contested). His descent into madness was further accelerated when he started consuming massive amounts of ironic ghetto memes that further encouraged him to "wile out" (go crazy).[1]
Unknown to Kermit, Lord Zrintch had engineered his downfall to turn him into a threat to the Pennis And Also Dicke And Balls Bureau so that their existence would not go unchallenged in Zrintch's absence. In Zrintch's own words, he also did it so that he could "have some fun" with his home universe while he was away furthering his and Mazkertis's goals in the Original Universe. As planned, Kek's rage turned him against the PAADABBers, with his first victims being two of their members, Panus and Asenis. However, Kek chose not to go after the remaining PAADABBers, because he was not yet strong enough to take on all of them at once, and since Panus and Asenis' deaths, the PAADABB had stuck together.[1]
The Mazkertis Paradox[edit | edit source]
In 150,084 CMT, Lord Zrintch sent the Dong Squad to Kek's location in the Dark Mirror Universe. It was his intention that the Dongers would meet and fight Kek, so that, whichever side won, an element of his plan that he no longer had use for would be eliminated.[1]
Kek shot down the Dong Squad's ship the moment he saw it. When the stunned Dongers emerged from the damaged ship, Kek appeared to them and declared that they would pay for trespassing in his realm. In response, BONES ordered the Dong Squad to expand: Randolph Moloch and Merasmus fired their own magic at Kek, but he merely shrugged it off and blasted the mages away with energy of his own. Jesse Ventura, Soldier, and the LGAMs fired their weapons, but Kek formed shields of energy to block these attacks. Before he could launch a counter-attack against the Dongers, Kek was hit with an onionade from behind, which was revealed to be thrown by Punished Shrek, leader of the PAADABB. Punished Shrek, who was backed up by the other members of his team, ordered Kek to leave, else he would face all of them at once. Kek gave an annoyed screech and teleported away.[1]
Back at the Panus and Asenis base, Punished Shrek told Jesse Ventura that Kek must be stopped before he grows powerful enough to leave the planet and ravage the rest of the universe. Ventura and the Dongers agreed to help the PAADABB kill Kek, on the condition that the PAADABB help them defeat Mazkertis afterwards. An agreement was formed, so both teams went out into the city to find Kek. Kek appeared to them via a demonic whirlwind and declared that he would kill them all. The battle began when D-Reezy teleported behind Kek and swung his staff at the amphibian's back, but Kek blocked the attack with one of his arms and stunned the rapper with a power scream. Kek also blocked Ross Mandell and Alex Jones's punches, and slashed them with his knife, causing them to fall to the ground. Even the magical attacks of Randolph, Merasmus, and Cory Baxter had no effect on Kek, and Saitama was prevented from landing a punch on Kek by a levitating slab of concrete. Kek then rained magical blasts in the shape of letters on his opponents, vaporizing two Ayy-Lmaliums and causing the others to rush for cover. However, DM Soldier managed to injure Kek by blasting him with magical energy and a charged shot from his Cow Mangler 4500 at the same time - Kek was unable to block both attacks at once, so he was hit and sent flying through a wall.[1]
The success of DM Soldier's attacks gave Punished Shrek an idea: he realized that, if they assailed Kek with multiple, long-range attacks all at once, he would not be able to block them all. He rallied the Dongers and PAADABBers with this idea, so every member of the team immediately attacked Kek with their unique long-range attacks. As Punished Shrek predicted, the onslaught broke through Kek's shields and created an explosion that destroyed most of his arms. Saitama followed up by slamming his fist into Kek's face, which knocked him into the ground and through several buildings below. Kek panicked, realizing that he had lost most of his power, but still refused to surrender. When D-Reezy teleported in front of him, Kek insisted that Kermit was dead and there will only be Kek. D-Reezy sneered at the final ruminations of the dying villain, and stabbed his staff into Kek's chest, ending his reign of terror for good.[1]
The Dongers and PAADABBers then returned to Panus and Asenis base. The PAADABBers notified Lord Zrintch that Kek had been slain, so Zrintch told the PAADABBers why he had created Kek in the first place, and instructed them that it was now their job to clean up the mess by destroying the Dong Squad.[1]
Abilities & Powers[edit | edit source]
- Unidentified Magical Ability: Kek was an adept user of an unidentified form of magic. He could use this magic to create constructs and blasts of destructive energy and form energy shields to protect himself from attack.
- Power Scream: Kek could emanate a powerful scream loud enough to stun or disorientate anyone close to him.
- Telekinesis: Kek was able to move objects telekinetically, as seen when he lifted a slab of concrete from the ground and slammed it into One-Punch Man.
- Teleportation: Kek had the ability to teleport via black, demonic whirlwinds.
