Walt Disney

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Walt Disney
Walt Disney portrait.jpg
Species
Human
Gender
Male
Weapons
Vehicles
Allies
Enemies
Factions
Status
Unknown
 Home Reality 
"We knew this day would come, me and the others, we knew it and we planned for it. Anyone who thinks we were able to secure ourselves as the Head of Pageantry at the 1960 Winter Olympics through quality family entertainment alone is a fool. No, we've been stockpiling weapons for years... Let's go get those children back."
Walt Disney to Hugh Hoard[1]

In the far future, Walt Disney was the founder of The Walt Disney Company who awakened from cryogenic sleep to discover a universe where his company had fallen into irrelevance.

History[edit | edit source]

A Future Most Frightening[edit | edit source]

In 253,074 CMT, Walt Disney awoke from an indeterminably long period of cryogenic sleep beneath the ruins of Disney Castle in Disneyland Florida. Walt Disney crawled upwards through debris and emerged on the surface, where he found that his beloved resort had since fallen into disrepair and had been completely abandoned[2] save for one human scavenger named Hugh Hoard.[3] When Walt Disney sorrowfully asked the scavenger what had happened to Disneyland Florida,[4] Hoard replied that the adult population of Earth had simply gotten "fed up" with The Walt Disney Company and had stopped taking their children to Disneyland, causing the resort to be abandoned.[5] Although deeply saddened, Walt Disney admitted that this turn of events was not entirely unexpected, for he and the other members of The Walt Disney Company board had foreseen such an outcome and had begun stockpiling weapons so that they would be able to take the children back by force if necessary.[1] After Hugh Hoard introduced himself as a "big fan" who wanted to help Walt Disney "reinspire" some imaginations,[6] Walt Disney beckoned his new friend to follow him to the Disney Castle, for he was confident that, if what was once stored inside was still there, he and Hugh would have no trouble "charming" the world for generations to come.[7]

At the Disney Castle gates, Walt Disney uttered the phrase "Sherbet Lemon", which caused the whole doorway to move backwards to reveal a secret underground passage. Walt Disney encouraged Hugh Hoard to follow him to the armory at the bottom, arm himself to the teeth with weapons, and hop into his patented InterStellarDreadnaughtClubhouse™ transport to reclaim some timeless brands the old fashioned way: with cold hard steel and a blast from Mickey'sPlasmaIonCannon™.[8] Despite the long period he had spent in cryosleep, Walt Disney had anticipated that the InterStellarDreadnaughtClubhouse™ would be equipped with the most advanced weapons known to man, but he noted the appearance of a space station on the Clubhouse™'s scanners as proof that technology had outpaced him at last.[9] Hugh Hoard was also intrigued by the space station,[10] so Walt Disney powered up the InterStellarDreadnaughtClubhouse™ and launched the spaceship upwards through the top of the highest tower of Disney Castle, where the roof opened up to allow the craft to leave on a course for the space station.[11]

The Hostile Takeover[edit | edit source]

In case he and Hugh Hoard encountered any hostiles on their journey, Walt Disney retrieved some highly collectible, hand-painted, and remotely detonated Disney-themed grenades that he added to his arsenal.[11] When the InterStellarDreadnaughtClubhouse™ arrived in the vicinity of the space station, Walt Disney and Hugh Hoard noticed that there was a space battle occurring nearby between some Platinum Lanterns and two Users: the Architect and User LM.[12] Dryly commenting "I haven't killed anyone in years", Walt Disney decided to add the combatants to his company's long list of conquests as he powered up his Mickey'sPlasmaIonCannon™ and prepared to join the battle.[13] After Hugh Hoard extended the ship's ramp to give them both a better view of the battle,[14] Walt Disney fired his Mickey'sPlasmaIonCannon™ at Nix'rei three times in rapid succession and jumped out of the ship, landing on the space station.[15] Nix'rei charged at Walt Disney,[16] aiming to disable his weapon,[17] though Disney kept the Platinum Lantern suppressed until Nix'rei formed a platinum shield that deflected the last few shots.[18]

Walt Disney was so amazed by Nix'rei's Platinum Lantern construct that he offered to buy the patent for it, but Nix'rei replied that his imagination was "not for sale". Nix'rei then used his Hathulean ability of energy absorption to drain the Mickey'sPlasmaIonCannon™ of its energy, rendering it useless, and released the absorbed energy in the form of a concussive blast that flew past Walt Disney and hit Hugh Hoard square in the chest, causing the scavenger to fall out of the InterStellarDreadnaughtClubhouse™ and onto the space station next to Walt Disney. Switching to "Plan B", Walt Disney retrieved the grenade detonator that he had given Hugh earlier and threw a cluster of grenades in Nix'rei's face that he then detonated. While Nix'rei was stunned, Walt Disney escaped back into the InterStellarDreadnaughtClubhouse™ and decided to leave while he still had the chance. Walt Disney promised Nix'rei that he would "back with a better offer" and bid farewell to Hugh Hoard as he prepared to leave. Nix'rei attempted to restrain the spaceship with tentacle-like bonds, but it jumped to lightspeed before he could.[18]

References[edit | edit source]

External Links[edit | edit source]