Dr. Bedge

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Dr. Bedge
Bedge.jpg
Formal Name
Dr. Amasiv Bedge
Species
Human Alasaskan
Gender
Male
Age
~50
Homeworld
Alasaska, the Stouttish Islands
(formerly Alaska, USA, Earth)
Family
Anedie Bedge (wife)
Allies
Enemies
Factions
The League of Super Critics,
University of Alasaska
Status
Alive
 Home Reality 

Dr. Amasiv Bedge is an Alasaskan human professor and conspiracy theorist who is known for his published analyses of the meme energies that exist in the BZPB Multiverse, including the mysterious HahaJ'UsT-Seying force.

History[edit | edit source]

Early Life[edit | edit source]

Little is known about Dr. Bedge's early life outside of his studies, because he only became notable in academic circles after his written analysis of the HahaJ'UsT-Seying force was published. He claims to have spent much of his youth studying the various meme energies present in the Original Universe, which served as the inspiration for much of his research papers. At some point, he also married a woman named Anedie, who took his last name.

Dr. Bedge's Conspiracy Theories[edit | edit source]

Eventually, Dr. Bedge's investigations into the abundance of "meme magic" on Earth led him to become suspicious of the experiments being conducted by the U.S. government at the HAARP research complex. When the rantings of fellow truth-seeker Alex Jones appeared to corroborate Dr. Bedge's theories, he became convinced that HAARP was a testing ground for new and dangerous secret technologies that could, among other things, trigger earthquakes, affect the weather, and control common human thought processes (memes). Unfortunately, Dr. Bedge was derided by the scientific community for these claims, and was banned from working on any governmental program that could get him closer to HAARP or any classified research projects in the fear that he might leak them to the public in another attempt to expose the truth. Dr. Bedge's subsequent ostracization from his peers in the scientific community strained his relationship with his wife, Anedie, but Bedge managed to convince her to stay with him. He decided that he would continue his research in a place outside the purview of the U.S. government: the Stouttish Islands, a faraway land that contained huge amounts of meme energy that he could analyze for his studies. Bedge christened the island that he settled on "Alasaska", after his native Alaska, and founded the University of Alasaska there.

Dr. Bedge's conspiratorial ramblings were eventually noticed by Jesse Ventura, who at the time was hosting a TV show that featured him touring the universe to investigate Earth-based conspiracy theories. Ventura contacted Dr. Bedge to ask him to appear on his show, so they arranged a meeting at Bedge's estate on Alasaska to discuss Bedge's theories in-depth before they filmed the final, televised interview. Ventura made several visits to Bedge's estate, but found himself bored and irritated by Bedge, so he deliberately tried to annoy him by showing little respect for his work and making other slights against his character. Eventually, Ventura mockingly revealed that he had slept with Bedge's wife, live on air. Dr. Bedge, who saw the interview as his last chance to present his theories to a wider audience, knew that his future as a memeologist depended on his reaction to Ventura's mockery, so, against his better judgement, he decided not to take Ventura's bait. Unfortunately, this only gave Dr. Bedge the reputation of being even more of a Bedge than before. He began harboring a deep hatred of Ventura, but remained too much of a Bedge to do anything about it.

Meeting the Critics[edit | edit source]

In 150,084 CMT, Dr. Bedge participated in an online competition to meet face-to-face with Doug Walker, one of his favorite internet reviewers. The objective of the competition was to correctly answer as many questions about Walker and his work as possible, with the person with the highest overall score being declared the winner. To Bedge's surprise, he came in first place, tied directly with another contestant: Paul Latza.

Little did Bedge know that the real reason that Doug had created this competition was because he was putting a team together to track down his stolen $200,000, and he wanted a superfan on that team who was enough of a fanboy to help him organize himself whilst overlooking his questionable morals in regards to money. The other members of Doug's idealized team were 1) Linkara, Walker's trusted friend and confidant; 2) a freelance private detective who could help investigate their case outside the law; and 3) someone who owned a bank account that pledged money to Doug's Kickstarter campaign. Linkara agreed to help Doug, so Doug hired Mortimer Moloch to fill the role of freelance detective and captured Seran Dol-Abi, a Jedi who had contributed to Doug's Kickstarter project, to fill the third position. Upon seeing the results of his competition, Doug declared both Dr. Bedge and Paul Latza the winners, and invited them to meet with him at his California home.

Though he was excited to meet the Critics, Dr. Bedge spent most of the day venting to them about his beef with Jesse Ventura. The Critics mostly ignored him, but Paul Latza, who had also faced humiliation in his life, was sympathetic to Dr. Bedge in that regard.

In the RPG[edit | edit source]

Later that day, Dr. Bedge followed Paul Latza into the room that Doug was interrogating Seran in, and announced that Ventura had sent him another offensive message about Bedge's wife. Paul Latza reassured Dr. Bedge that they would get Ventura, and the man who stole the $200,000, and bring them both to justice.[1]

At Doug Walker's house in California, Bedge overheard the critic agree with Seran Dol-Abi that they should fly into space to find the man responsible for stealing their kickstarter money. Bedge received a text from Jesse Ventura, who was bragging about sleeping with Bedge's wife, so Bedge volunteered to go with them as long as they looked for Ventura too. The group climbed into Seran's starfighter and flew into space, but were apprehended by Toa Komerak for ignoring protocol about leaving Earth and delivered to Supermax 282. There, they met Spanha and JC Denton and organized a breakout with them, with Bedge reluctantly agreed to. They managed to escape in the skip of a garbage truck leaving the station, but Koranis jettisoned it, leaving them to drift in space until they were rescued by Malcolm. Dr. Bedge and the others were dropped off on Kravenhold, where they fought Bring the Pain Barry and won.

The Mazkertis Paradox[edit | edit source]

Over two months after the battle on Kravenhold, Dr. Bedge accompanied the remaining members of the League of Super Critics (Walker, Linkara, Spoony, Latza, and Ray) to Sojourn IV.[2]

Trivia[edit | edit source]

  • Dr. Bedge originates from a YouTube Poop of Conspiracy Theory with Jesse Ventura. He is "played" by Dr. Nick Begich, an Alaskan professor who theorizes that the HAARP complex contains an elaborate mind-control device.

References[edit | edit source]