Boris Johnson

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Boris Johnson
Boris.jpg
Titles
Prime Minister of the United Kingdom
Species
Human
Gender
Male
Homeworld
Allies
Factions
Government of the United Kingdom
Status
Alive
 Home Reality 

Boris Johnson was the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom in the latter half of The Mazkertis Paradox arc and was a mayor of London before ascending to the role.

During his time as Mayor, Johnson proposed a law that would ban TPK's soldiers from using the city as a safehouse, which angered the Great Being enough to banish Johnson to Tatooine. After meeting Kakamu and Quolas, two other beings who had been exiled to Tatooine by TPK, Johnson was able to escape from the planet with the assistance of the local Jedi Seran Dol-Abi, who dropped him off on Atuar Sadiares in his starfighter. Johnson was then embroiled in the Bike Saga when a series of political leaders from his native Earth appeared and tried to steal his bike, which resulted in him being arrested and sent to Supermax 282. After spending two years behind bars, Johnson was freed when the Blackwatch Corporation acquired Supermax 282 and released its "least dangerous" prisoners to the public, which enabled Johnson to return to Earth and resume his political career. He was subsequently elected Prime Minister of the United Kingdom in a decisive victory within his party, and agreed to assist President Donald Trump in investigating ways to prevent further degradation of the universe's timeline.

Description[edit | edit source]

Boris Johnson was a slightly overweight, middle-aged British human man who was instantly identifiable by his awkward slouch and the messy mop of light blonde hair atop his head. He wore a black suit with a long blue tie (the color of his political party) and was usually seen with a sheepish but amenable grin on his face.[1] Despite becoming notorious for being involved in (and sometimes the cause of) many public gaffes and embarrassing incidents across the universe like the Bike Saga, Johnson and his career were completely immune to the negative effects of embarrassment, to the point where the only 'power' that Vorahk-Kah's staff was able to glean from Johnson was 'immunity from embarrassment'.[2] Johnson liked to diffuse tense situations with jokes, but could also be serious when the situation called for it, especially at the request of people he respected like President Trump.[1]

History[edit | edit source]

Exile on Tatooine[edit | edit source]

Boris Johnson held the position of Mayor of London until he proposed a law that would ban TPK's soldiers from using the city as a safehouse, which angered the Great Being so much that he teleported Johnson to Tatooine.[3]

In 150,081 CMT, Boris Johnson was still on Tatooine, having since donned a mask and equipped himself with a gun for self-defense, when Kakamu was suddenly teleported in front of him.[4] Johnson correctly assumed that Kakamu had also been banished to Tatooine by TPK because it was the only way that he had ever seen anyone come to the planet. He then warned Kakamu that: "The suns will set soon, and when the suns set, they come out". As Johnson ran into a nearby cave for shelter,[5] he explained to Kakamu how he had ended up on Tatooine and revealed a little more about the planet, divulging that it had been a hospitable place until an attack by Mondas had transformed its climate, causing its surface temperature to be blisteringly hot during the day and freezing cold at night.[3] Kakamu returned the gesture by properly introducing himself and explaining why TPK had exiled him, stopping only to ask Johnson if there were any other survivors.[6] After Johnson replied that there were others who lived deeper into the cave, several thrashing tentacles suddenly burst out of the sand and attacked them both.[7]

The alarmed Johnson fired at the tentacles with his gun, which caused them to retreat into the sand. He then explained to Kakamu that the tentacles belonged to the Dead Mind, an entity about which nothing was known other than the fact that its tentacles periodically surfaced to drag survivors below the sand. All Johnson could say about it was: "If you see one of its tentacles, shoot it, or if you have no gun, run as fast as you can".[7] Though Kakamu reacted to Johnson's advice by forming a biometal sword out of his arm and preparing himself for another attack,[8] Johnson reassured him by explaining that the Dead Mind rarely attacked more than once a day and that he could feel free to rest in one of the survivors' makeshift beds if he so desired.[9] The survivors then went to sleep for the night, but they were awoken by another attack from the Dead Mind, whose tentacles dragged Kakamu underground but left the others on the surface. While the survivors recovered from the attack, a man who introduced himself as Seran Dol-Abi entered the cave and asked to be told what was going on.[10]

Once Johnson had introduced himself to Seran as the de facto leader of the survivors and had informed him about the Dead Mind, he asked the Jedi if he was on Tatooine because he had also been exiled there by TPK.[11] However, the conversation was interrupted by the sudden appearance of a hologram of Angonce, who stated that TPK had taken over the Council of the Great Beings and begged the survivors for their help.[12] Johnson concurred with Seran in that he had no idea how to respond to Angonce's plea, though he stated that the survivors could escape from the planet if Seran had a spaceship that they could use.[13] Just as Seran replied that he still owned an old starfighter out in the wastes,[14] Quolas suddenly appeared in front of Boris, having been the latest person to be exiled to Tatooine by TPK.[15]

Johnson aimed his gun at Quolas and ordered him to identify himself.[16] Quolas answered that he was a Time Guardian, but refused to elaborate upon this statement, instead asking Johnson to tell him where he had been teleported to.[17] As requested, Johnson explained to Quolas that he was on Tatooine: a planet that TPK exiled his enemies to and one that they were trying to escape from. Johnson asked Quolas if he had any ideas that could help them achieve this goal,[18] but Quolas replied that he did not, claiming that he could only teleport himself.[19]

Later, a portal opened in front of Johnson and company[20] that Starscream and Trantoshen emerged from, looking for Kakamu. Johnson told Starscream that Kakamu had been dragged underground by the Dead Mind, which was an occurrence that he had never seen anyone return from.[21] Though Starscream was disappointed, he decided to make his visit worthwhile by using Vorahk-Kah's staff to acquire each of their powers; gaining the power of "immunity from embarrassment" from Boris Johnson. Starscream and Trantoshen then left through another portal to continue their search for Kakamu.[2] After some more deliberations, Johnson followed Quolas, Seran, and the other survivors out of the cave[22] and towards Seran's hut in the wastes, where Seran hoped that some of them would be able to use his starfighter to leave the planet.[23] When Johnson asked Seran how big his starfighter was,[24] Seran revealed that it had the space to fit four people. Seran then walked into his hut[25] and activated a mechanism that retracted the roof of an underground hangar and lifted his starfighter up to the surface.[26]

As the group climbed aboard, Johnson commented that he would prefer a bike, but it would do for the time being.[27] However, when he saw that Seran's starfighter had set off on a course for Atuar Sadiares,[28] he began to have a "bad feeling" about what would happen next...[29]

The Bike Saga[edit | edit source]

Once the travellers had arrived on Atuar Sadiares, Boris Johnson stepped out of Seran's starfighter and stated that he would have to find a shuttle to take to London.[30] Johnson then climbed on a bicycle that wasn't there before and began to cycle away[31] until he was rudely pushed off by the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom: David Cameron.[32] Johnson reacted by saying "That was ill-advised of you, Dave", which caused a Navy SEAL to appear and tackle Cameron,[33] but Cameron escaped by kidnapping himself back to the House of Commons and slamming the door in the Navy SEAL's face.[34] While Johnson was distracted, Angela Merkel grabbed his bike, loaded it into Seran's starfighter, and stole both, flying away and laughing maniacally.[35] Though it seemed that Merkel had escaped victorious, Johnson's bike was soon snatched from the cargo hold by Vladimir Putin, who began to make his getaway before the bike was stolen in turn by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.[36] After the bike changed hands between a myriad of other political figures from Earth, Putin stole the bike again and began to pedal to freedom until he noticed that Boris Johnson was blocking his escape route.[37] Announcing that he would put an end to the Bike Saga, Johnson kicked Putin off the bike and rode away while the other world leaders chased him[38] on motorcycles, ordering him to relinquish the bike.[39]

When Johnson replied "Never!", many more Navy SEALs appeared and tackled Johnson's pursuers,[40] knocking them back. However, Johnson's bike was then stolen by Gabe Newell, who tried to run away while carrying the bike in his arms.[41] Johnson responded by activating his bike's self-destruct mechanism, which ended the Bike Saga until he hopped on another bike, starting the cycle all over again.[42] After the bike changed hands several more times, it reappeared in front of Johnson and apologized for its absence, saying "I am sorry I left you, master".[43]

Escape from Supermax 282[edit | edit source]

At the conclusion of the Bike Saga in 150,082 CMT, Boris Johnson was arrested and sent to Supermax 282 as a prisoner.[1] In 150,084 CMT, Johnson watched with interest as several new arrivals, the League of Super Critics, entered the prison cafeteria.[44] When a concerned guard mistook the panicked Critics for hotheads, Johnson diplomatically diffused the situation by patting the guard on the back and reassuring him that the Critics were fine.[45]

That evening, Johnson sneaked into the cafeteria kitchen and hid in a cupboard before the League of Super Critics and their allies also infiltrated the kitchen as part of their own plan to escape the prison. When a brawl between Heavy and Koranis alerted the guards to the location of the escaped prisoners, Johnson burst out of the cupboard and threw a miniature bike at the Vice-Warden Amobb Banks's head in an attempt to slow him down.[46] Johnson then walked up to Banks and began to gloat,[47] but he was pinned down and restrained by the guards.[48]

On Day 56 of The Mazkertis Paradox arc, Boris Johnson was not one of the prisoners who escaped in the breakout that occurred when Strika blew a power box that released all of the prisoners held in Cell Block D, because he was being held in Cell Block F at the time. The fact that Supermax 282 had been the center of two prolific breakouts in less than a year caused considerable embarrassment to the Galactic Government, who promptly opened an investigation into the management of the prison. During the investigation, it became unclear whether Supermax 282 and its prisoners were actually owned by the Galactic Government at the time because SM Akoran Zicks had since begun the process of selling the prison to the Blackwatch Corporation, embroiling the Galactic Government in a costly legal battle. Though the case resulted in the Galactic Government relinquishing Supermax 282 and its prisoners to the Blackwatch Corporation, Blackwatch immediately released all of the 'less dangerous' inmates, like Boris Johnson, back into the public so that they could convert Supermax 282 into a different kind of facility.[1]

The Mazkertis Paradox[edit | edit source]

Now free to return to Earth for the first time in years, Boris Johnson immediately resumed his political career and stood as a candidate in a leadership election within his party. He won the election by a significant margin, becoming the latest Prime Minister of the United Kingdom.[1]

On Day 76 of The Mazkertis Paradox arc, Johnson travelled to the United States of America with an escort of bodyguards and Psymancers for a diplomatic meeting with President Donald Trump in the White House. After the two world leaders exchanged formalities, Trump announced that the matter he wanted to discuss with Johnson was a "TKX-class scenario", which prompted the human bodyguards to file out of the room and leave the two men alone with their Psymancers. While Johnson sat and listened with growing concern, Trump explained that something had gone very wrong with the timeline of their universe that had caused the passage of time to become distorted and difficult to measure on Earth, as well as creating temporal anomalies across the universe at an unprecedented rate. Trump added that the Foundation had already enacted Special Containment Procedures on Earth in order to prevent knowledge of the calamity from spreading among the public, but warned that the timeline would only continue to degrade if it was not corrected soon. Trump then revealed to Johnson that the reason he knew so much about the state of Earth's timeline was because he was a time traveller himself who had used a time machine based on the late Nikola Tesla's scientific notes to routinely travel into the future and use knowledge of future events to amass wealth and power in the present.[1]

As Johnson continued to listen, Trump recalled that, after he became President of the United States, he had travelled into the future to see what would become of the rest of the universe. However, instead of a peaceful, prosperous future, he discovered a universe in chaos that seemed to have been chiefly caused by the actions of one man: an alien renegade named Klak. Armed with this knowledge, Trump had returned to the present and had attempted to ally himself with an enemy of Klak named Mazkertis in order to remove Klak and prevent this dark future from ever occurring, only to learn that Mazkertis was an even greater threat who planned to warp past, present, and future into his own twisted vision. Johnson suggested alerting the Galactic Government to the threat that Mazkertis posed, but Trump informed him that four aliens had already attempted to do so at the 3784th Assembly of the Reverie, only to be mocked and ignored. However, Trump revealed that he had allied himself with the aforementioned aliens and had instructed them to break several prisoners out of Supermax 282 who had the skills that would be needed to find and kill Mazkertis. Johnson realized that this was the breakout that had led to the closure of the prison and his own subsequent release by the Blackwatch Corporation, which had allowed him to continue his political career on Earth.[1]

The final matter that Johnson discussed with Trump was that Trump had somewhat prematurely promised the aliens that they would have all of Earth's resources at their disposal in their mission to kill Mazkertis, despite Trump only being the representative of Earth in the Reverie and not the supreme commander of the planet. However, because Johnson had gained even more confidence in Trump as a result of his story, he agreed to lend the resources of the United Kingdom to Trump's mission in order to kill Mazkertis and save the universe's timeline.[1]

References[edit | edit source]

  1. 1.0 1.1 1.2 1.3 1.4 1.5 1.6 1.7 The Mazkertis Paradox | Chapter 18: Critically Planned
  2. 2.0 2.1 BZPB #7224 (Jan 29, 2012)
  3. 3.0 3.1 BZPB #6779 (Dec 24, 2011)
  4. BZPB #6758 (Dec 22, 2011)
  5. BZPB #6777 (Dec 24, 2011)
  6. BZPB #6781 (Dec 24, 2011)
  7. 7.0 7.1 BZPB #6782 (Dec 24, 2011)
  8. BZPB #6783 (Dec 24, 2011)
  9. BZPB #6784 (Dec 24, 2011)
  10. BZPB #6968 (Jan 05, 2012)
  11. BZPB #6969 (Jan 05, 2012)
  12. BZPB #6974 (Jan 06, 2012)
  13. BZPB #6992 (Jan 08, 2012)
  14. BZPB #6993 (Jan 08, 2012)
  15. BZPB #6994 (Jan 08, 2012)
  16. BZPB #6996 (Jan 09, 2012)
  17. BZPB #6998 (Jan 09, 2012)
  18. BZPB #6999 (Jan 09, 2012)
  19. BZPB #7010 (Jan 10, 2012)
  20. BZPB #7196 (Jan 27, 2012)
  21. BZPB #7197 (Jan 27, 2012)
  22. BZPB #7394 (Feb 10, 2012)
  23. BZPB #7399 (Feb 10, 2012)
  24. BZPB #7415 (Feb 12, 2012)
  25. BZPB #7418 (Feb 12, 2012)
  26. BZPB #7459 (Feb 16, 2012)
  27. BZPB #7464 (Feb 17, 2012)
  28. BZPB #7476 (Feb 18, 2012)
  29. BZPB #7484 (Feb 19, 2012)
  30. BZPB #7543 (Feb 24, 2012)
  31. BZPB #7580 (Feb 27, 2012)
  32. BZPB #7582 (Feb 27, 2012)
  33. BZPB #7592 (Feb 28, 2012)
  34. BZPB #7595 (Feb 28, 2012)
  35. BZPB #7598 (Feb 28, 2012)
  36. BZPB #7679 (Mar 09, 2012)
  37. BZPB #7731 (Mar 12, 2012)
  38. BZPB #7740 (Mar 13, 2012)
  39. BZPB #7763 (Mar 13, 2012)
  40. BZPB #7769 (Mar 14, 2012)
  41. BZPB #7776 (Mar 14, 2012)
  42. BZPB #7777 (Mar 14, 2012)
  43. BZPB #7961 (Mar 24, 2012)
  44. BZPB #17178 (Nov 26, 2014)
  45. BZPB #17188 (Dec 04, 2014)
  46. BZPB #17229 (Dec 24, 2014)
  47. BZPB #17233 (Dec 27, 2014)
  48. BZPB #17234 (Dec 30, 2014)

External Links[edit | edit source]