Battle of Haxx vs. Haxx

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Battle of Haxx vs. Haxx
Part of the Shadows Rising arc

Date

150,080 CMT

Location

Unknown

Universe

An unknown alternate universe

Factions

Blackout

Zev Raregroove

Faction Goals

Probably something like keeping Zev from getting even more powerful. That's a bit of an issue, you know.

Convince Blackout to form a temporary alliance.

Combatants
Casualties
  • Chuck Norris


Outcome

Norris and Musashi are discarded and Blackout and Zev go back to fighting each other.

 

The Battle of Haxx vs. Haxx was a battle between Blackout and Zev that took place in an unknown universe.

It started with a challenge issued by Blackout: Both would summon a representative from the human world. Should Zev win, Blackout would have to leave one planet alone—Should Blackout win, Zev would serve him for two months. And considering how easily Zev agreed, Blackout really should have known better.

For Blackout's side, the Bearded Comet, Chuck Norris was summoned. Rather obvious. However, Zev made a wise decision: He cheated, summoning an armed, incredibly skilled samurai from the past, the renowned Miyamoto Musashi.

The two competitors started, with both quickly earning serious blows on the other—However, Blackout noticed Zev's disappearance just a bit too late, and just in time for the back of his head to be stabbed. Luckily, Makuta are like mechanical, intelligent, quasi-magic-wielding, and in general much more awesome versions of zombies, and Blackout survived.

With that, Zev made an offer. All he wanted at this point was Blackout's help in getting the answer to a question. In return, he would 'make Blackout even more powerful', reveal a secret he knows about Blackout, off one or two of Blackout's enemies, and give him a friendship bracelet. The bracelet... is sparkly.

Unfortunately, just as Blackout was about to agree to the proposal, Chuck Norris whacked Zev by hitting him with the unconscious Miyamoto. Blackout scolded Norris for doing that because he and Zev were just about to come to an agreement, but Norris just shrugged it off, stating that he "felt like it". He then accidentally stepped on Zev's friendship bracelet, crushing it. These combined insults REALLY pissed Zev off, so he killed Norris by slicing his guts out and smashing his head into a fine pulp. Now that Norris was no longer a thorn in his side, Zev decided to ask Blackout about his offer again, but Blackout was suddenly teleported away to another universe before he could respond, effectively ending the battle.

Quotes[edit]

"You and your damn hormones." - Zev

"Screw that, I'll just kill you!" - Zev