Backdoor to the Manhole

From BZPB Wiki
Jump to navigationJump to search
Backdoor to the Manhole
Astrographical Information
Planet
Status Information
Status
Existing
Home Reality

The Backdoor to the Manhole was the bar on Sojourn V where the Dong Squad met the League of Super Critics.

Description[edit]

The Backdoor to the Manhole was a somewhat grimy, run-down establishment that was denoted by an equally grimy sign outside. The Manhole was staffed by a gruff-looking bartender and occupied by various alien patrons. In addition to the bar itself, the Manhole building also contained a toilet room and a kitchen that was stocked with a variety of foods as well as many bottles of ALILA-brand tequila.[1]

History[edit]

In 150,084 CMT (Day 76 of The Mazkertis Paradox arc), BONES, Ross Mandell, and an Ayy-Lmalium engineer found the Backdoor to the Manhole while searching Sojourn V for an open public establishment that they could enter and ask the locals where they could purchase fuel that would be compatible with their spaceship. The group walked past 18-LA, who was getting beaten up outside of the Manhole by a few gangsters because he had taunted them earlier by calling them "tiny cutesy men". Moments after BONES, Mandell, and the Ayy-Lmalium entered the Manhole, Mandell bumped into Doug Walker, who immediately recognized him as the man who had stolen his $200,000 two years prior. As the rest of the League of Super Critics looked on in surprise,[2] Walker accused Mandell of being the man who stole his $200,000, which prompted the Critics to assume battle stances against BONES, Mandell, and the Ayy-Lmalium.[3]

However, before the two groups could come to blows, a bizarre creature calling himself Xavier appeared who urged the Dongers and Critics to resolve their conflict non-violently, muttering that it was his destiny to make them like each other. Linkara observed that it was unlikely that Xavier would leave until he thought he had achieved his goal, so the Dongers and Critics reluctantly agreed to humor Xavier to get him to leave.[3] BONES then called Jesse Ventura and instructed him to bring the rest of the Dongers to the Manhole so that they could resolve the situation together. A few moments later, Dr. Bedge barricaded himself in the bar's toilet room, muttering something about how the "crimes of the past" were catching up with him and that he needed to undo a mistake he had created. When the rest of the Dongers arrived at the Manhole, Xavier introduced himself by using his third eye to psychically project the letters of his name into everyone's minds, which caused the bartender and miscellaneous patrons to flee in a mixture of horror and disgust, including 18-LA and the gangsters who had been beating him up.[1]

Ventura instinctively reacted by beating Xavier, but he was stopped by One-Punch Man, who convinced him that the Dongers needed to at least hear Xavier's reasoning for being there regardless of how repulsive he appeared. Spurred on by this statement, Xavier warned the Dongers and Critics that he had experienced a prophetic vision of a terrible future that could only be prevented if both teams set their differences aside and worked together. However, the room quickly devolved into arguments and bickering between the members of both teams, which only worsened when Ventura discovered that the sixth member of the League of Super Critics, who had still yet to return from the bathroom, was none other than his old romantic rival, Dr. Bedge. When it became clear that the Dongers and Critics simply could not cooperate with each other if left to their own devices, Xavier produced a hypnotic instrument called a 'shakashuri' that he used to mesmerize the Dongers and Critics before leading them out of the bar in search of the seeds that would create their friendship, leaving Dr. Bedge and the thought of him behind.[1]

References[edit]