Tourettes Guy

"OH BOB SAGET!"

- The Tourettes Guy

The "Tourettes Guy", real name Danny, is a foul-mouthed former resident of the Stouttish Islands.

History
In 150,084 CMT, the Tourettes Guy heard news that a Cooperative spaceship had landed elsewhere on the Stouttish Islands and that its crew were recruiting members for a strike team whose mission would be to save the universe. The Tourettes Guy ran towards the Cooperative spaceship as fast as he could, but arrived too late to be drafted into Dong Squad and could do nothing but watch as the spaceship left the Stouttish Islands without him.

On Day 1 of The Mazkertis Paradox arc, the Tourettes Guy was relaxing at home with his son when his telephone receiver picked up a broadcast from the New York City Police Department. The broadcast declared that the NYPD had begun to search the Stouttish Islands for the criminal fugitive Ross Mandell and that anyone found refusing to comply with the NYPD's search would be considered to be obstructing the pursuit of justice and would be taken back to Earth for questioning. The Tourettes Guy immediately panicked because was already wanted by Earth-based authorities for making threats to companies such as Colgate and Comcast. Cursing all the while, the Tourettes Guy decided that he would try to evade the NYPD's search patrols by driving to the "ass-end" of the Stouttish Islands. He pushed past his confused son and climbed into his car, which he then began to drive down the street.

Mere moments later, the driver of one of the NYPD spinners descending upon the islands noticed Tourettes Guy's attempt to escape and landed in pursuit of his car on the road behind him. One of the officers in the spinner produced a megaphone and ordered the Tourettes Guy to pull over, but the Tourettes Guy ignored them and leaned out of his car window to spout a string of profanities in response. However, the distraction caused Tourettes Guy to lose control of the car in doing so and crash into a tree, the impact flinging him through the windshield and across the ground. The Tourettes Guy was pulled to his feet by one of the officers, but he defiantly resisted arrest by punching them in the face. As the same officer prepared to call for backup, he was suddenly disabled by Chris with a pepper spray and knocked unconscious with another punch to the face.

The Tourettes Guy 'thanked' Chris in his usual abrasive manner and the two men ducked into an alleyway to hide from the spinner patrols. Chris then told the Tourettes Guy that the only place safe from the NYPD was the southernmost member of the Stouttish Islands, Pen Island, which caused the Tourettes Guy to loudly rage because Pen Island was the last place he wanted to go. Once the Tourettes Guy had calmed down, the two men watched as another police spinner caught up to the Moonbase Alpha Astronaut and arrested him when he ran out of breath. Unaware of the volume of his own voice, the Tourettes Guy loudly commented on the astronaut's predicament, which alerted the policemen to their presence in the alleyway. The Tourettes Guy tried to run, but the policemen gave chase and caught the two fugitives, tackling and handcuffing them. The Tourettes Guy, Chris, and the Moonbase Alpha Astronaut were then loaded into the back of the police spinner to be taken back to Earth for questioning. Because that particular spinner was only large enough to accommodate two officers in the front and three prisoners in the back, the officers decided to leave sooner than the rest of the search party to take the prisoners back to their headquarters. The spinner flew into the sky and returned through the NYPD-created portal to New York City.