Coach (DMU)

"Some weird humans came up to him and said that they were facing an apocalypse, and Coach took that to mean that there was a cheeseburger apocalypse going on. So he left, saying that he had to fight his own fight, and would eventually return. We haven't heard from him since."

- DM Johnny Test tells Ainsley Harriott about Coach, The Mazkertis Paradox Chapter 13: Never Say Don't Ever Again

In the Dark Mirror Universe, "Coach" was a member of the Pennis And Also Dicke And Balls Bureau before he left the team to fight in the "cheeseburger apocalypse".

History
Coach was an active member of the Pennis And Also Dicke And Balls Bureau up until a few months before Kermit went insane.

One day, Coach was approached by a group of humans who told him that they were facing an apocalypse and needed his help to fight in it. Coach took that to mean that there was a "cheeseburger apocalypse" going on, so he told the PAADABB that he had to leave to fight his own battles, but would eventually return. Punished Shrek took some of Coach's DNA so that they could clone a replacement in case he didn't.

Months before the Dong Squad's arrival in the Dark Mirror Universe, two other PAADABB members, Asuka Langley Soryu and Grant Gustin, went looking for Coach and disappeared.

In the second quarter of 150,084 CMT, the Dong Squad met the PAADABB and were welcomed into the Panus and Asenis base to prepare for the next battle against Kermit, aka Kek. In the laboratory, DM Johnny Test persuaded Ainsley Harriott to cook a recipe that involved mutation spaghetti to see what would happen if it was tested on him. While looking for ingredients, Harriott discovered the sample of Coach's DNA in a test tube, so he asked Test what it was. Test answered Harriott's question and told him about Coach and what happened to him. Upon hearing this, Harriott secretly added the sample to the recipe, which influenced Test's transformation into Joey.

Asuka returned to the PAADABB in the middle of their battle against the Dongers. She began to tell them that she and Gustin had found Coach, and that Gustin was staying with him to fight in the so-called "cheeseburger apocalypse", but stopped when she noticed what was happening. Before she could say anything else, she was slapped down by the Shell-Shocked Cat.