D-Reezy (DMU)

"Hmm hmm hmm! I'll stick your ass like glue! I don't do no CPR, Kermit! KERMIT'S A BITCH!! HMM HMM HMM!!"

- D-Reezy threatening Kek

In the Dark Mirror Universe, D-Reezy was a member of the Pennis And Also Dicke And Balls Bureau.

History
In 150,084 CMT (Day 69 of The Mazkertis Paradox arc), DM D-Reezy and the Pennis And Also Dicke And Balls Bureau interrupted the battle between the Dong Squad and Kek that took place on the PAADABB's homeworld. When Punished Shrek warned 'Kermit' to leave the planet, prompting Kek to correct him in that his name had been changed to 'Kek', DM D-Reezy shouted that Kek was still a "damn BITCH!" regardless of the name change. Kek screamed with indignation and teleported away, leaving the PAADABB and Dong Squad free to introduce themselves to each other. As the PAADABB explained how the affable Kermit had become the evil Kek, DM D-Reezy clarified that the PAADABB still called Kek by his former name because he was a "HEFFAH ASS SON OF A BITCH!". This outburst prompted Ross Mandell to ask DM D-Reezy why he was so angry, but he did not elaborate.

The PAADABB took the Dong Squad back to the Panus and Asenis base, where DM D-Reezy ranted about how much he hated Kermit to Randolph Moloch and the Shell-Shocked Cat.

After the PAADABB and the Dong Squad agreed to join forces to kill Kek, DM D-Reezy followed his allies out into the destitute city in search of the crazed former frog. In the battle that followed, DM D-Reezy teleported behind Kek and attempted to strike the monster in the back with his staff, but Kek blocked the attack with one of his many arms and temporarily incapacitated DM D-Reezy with a power scream. Neither the PAADABB nor Dong Squad met with much success until Punished Shrek pointed out that DM Soldier's long-ranged, combined attacks were doing more damage than the others' individual attacks. The PAADABBers and Dongers significantly weakened Kek by combining their attacks, enabling DM D-Reezy to teleport in front of the monster and finish him off by impaling him in the chest with his staff. DM D-Reezy teleported back to the others and announced that Kek had been slain.

The allies returned to Panus and Asenis victorious, where the PAADABB (minus Hugh Neutron and Joey) entered a secret room and contacted Lord Zrintch to inform him of the death of Kek. Zrintch congratulated the PAADABB on their victory and revealed the reasons why he had turned Kermit to the Dark Side in the first place: to test the PAADABB and to "have some fun" with the Dark Mirror Universe in his absence. In addition, Zrintch said that he had hoped that Kek would have slain the Dong Squad, for they were an element of his plan that he no longer had use for, explaining that it was now up to the PAADABB to remove the Dong Squad instead.

The PAADABB left the secret room and rejoined the Dong Squad in their celebrations while secretly waiting for a chance to stab their former allies in the back. However, DM Alex Jones was so disgusted by Zrintch's treachery that he informed Jesse Ventura that the PAADABB planned to betray and wipe out the Dong Squad, leading to a premature confrontation between Ventura and Punished Shrek. As the two teams came to blows, DM D-Reezy winded Billy Mays with a blow to the stomach, causing the salesman to double over in pain. DM D-Reezy then duelled BONES, parrying a swing from the ghoul's scythe with his staff, until Mays recaptured the rapper's attention by asking him if he wished that Kek was alive so that he could roast and destroy him all over again. DM D-Reezy admitted that he did, so Mays offered him the deal of a lifetime: "Reanimation Putty: The easy way to make frog zombies". DM D-Reezy excitedly reached for his wallet in order to purchase the putty, but the offer was a ruse: BONES cut DM D-Reezy down with his scythe while he was distracted. However, it was unclear whether the blow was fatal.

Abilities & Powers

 * Teleportation: DM D-Reezy was able to teleport across short ranges.

Trivia

 * In the real world, D-Reezy is an amateur internet rapper known for his diss of Kermit the Frog.