Ahayyad Guun

"Ahayyad Guun" was the alias of a janitor of Tievie. He tried to ambush Bill Wilson and his men, but was suffocated underneath a pile of one of his own people's Hot Pockets.

History
"Ahayyad Guun" was one of the janitors of the planet Tievie. Because so many of its residents were obsessed with Bill Wilson and baneposting memes, he developed a hatred of CIA and vowed to hunt down and kill him. To this end, he allied himself with some of the planet's hotheads and set out to find him. He adopted the alias "Ahayyad Guun" so that CIA would think that Guun was a fellow Baneposter when they met.

In 150,084 CMT, Ahayyad Guun tracked CIA to Kartouche's concert on Tybion. He and his team of hotheads went to the concert and parked their jeep in Hungry-man's log cabin, not realizing that it was not a public car park. They located CIA, and were about to confront him when an army of Ta'har attacked the concert. Guun and the others fled into the log cabin in order to escape, which then took off from the planet and shot into space.

After the Ta'har threat was neutralized in the Battle of the Log Cabin, Guun and his men located CIA standing next to a plane in the ship's hangar. Guun disguised his hotheads as mercenaries for CIA to take on board, and drove up to the agent in his jeep. CIA recognized Guun as a fellow Baneposter and introduced himself; Guun responded by telling him that he was not alone. It was then that the disguised hotheads were no longer able to contain their anger, so they threw off their disguises and attacked CIA's men without waiting for Guun to give the command. The hotheads and other janitors then started firing Hot Pockets at their enemies, but some of the blasts hit Guun, burying him under a pile of them. One of the Hot Pockets got stuck in his throat, so he choked on it and died.