Chapter 7: Zugunruhe

Zugunruhe is the seventh chapter of The Mazkertis Paradox. In this chapter:


 * The Dong Squad and Wang Gang leave Meme World with the help of Kevin Douglas.
 * Inspired by the successes of the Dong Squad, Ade forms a "Meme Team" to help her turn the tide in the Terugan Civil War.
 * Boltman and the YONBOTS land on Dekan and do battle with Peacock and Double.
 * Genetoes returns to the universe and awakens his master, Eclipse, telling him that they are "needed again".
 * One week after these events, Boltman kills the Commander-in-Chief of the Galactic Government, Kong, casting the government's future into doubt as a result.
 * Moonman watches a news report of Kong's death and prepares to take the fight to Boltman.

Summary
Zugunruhe is set almost entirely on Meme World, where the Dong Squad have been stranded because their spaceship's engine has been drained of all power. The Ayy-Lmaliums are in the process of building a new spaceship for the Wang Gang which, once completed, will be able to attach to and separate from the Dong Squad's ship whenever necessary. Meanwhile, the wreckage of Hungry-man's log cabin has been turned into a makeshift campsite and the engine-less TSS Jet-Ball II is also resting nearby with its Terugan crew helping to extend the campsite with the assistance of the surviving Ta'har that were defeated in the Battle of the Log Cabin. Characters such as Hassan-ill-Sabbah and Space Ryan Gosling remain at the campsite while the Dongers wait inside their ship for repairs to be completed.

After a fight with Pumkin, Randolph Moloch storms out of the Dongers' ship and witnesses the Reddit Alien regurgitate memes into Sasha's mouth. Witnessing this transfer of memes gives Randolph an idea. He asks the Reddit Alien if it can connect directly to the universal internet. When the Reddit Alien confirms that it can, Randolph uses the alien to contact one of Lord Zrintch's associates via the subreddit /r/grinchmeetups. Zrintch's associate then in turn contacts Zrintch and passes on Randolph's message to the Sith Lord. Zrintch informs Randolph that he has sent a mobile workstation to Meme World to help them build a new engine for the Dongers' ship, despite them needing a power source more than raw materials. Randolph tells the Dongers this just before the Wangers arrive, and the two teams intermingle. Soon after, the mobile workstation arrives and its pilot introduces himself as Kevin Douglas, the ex-vice-warden of Supermax 429 who used to run the prison with Jesse Ventura. It is revealed that Douglas fled after Subject 06, "Crack Jag", caused the deaths of countless personnel when Douglas was supposed to be on duty, leaving Ventura to clean up the mess. Douglas then started a new life as part of the Cooperative, and became an asset of Lord Zrintch. Douglas parks the mobile workstation next to the Dongers' ship, and the Ayy-Lmaliums make use of its materials and tools.

Meanwhile, Ade, the captain of the engine-less Jet-Ball II, learns that Kartouche has claimed the matter converter that used to be a part of Hungry-man's log cabin. Ade's engineers tell her that, if they had the matter converter, they could reprogram it to serve as a replacement engine for the Jet-Ball II. Kartouche demands more than Ade can afford, and tells his Ta'har slaves through his bodyguards to carry the matter converter back to the camp site.

That night, Ventura (Dong Squad team leader), Hungry-man (Wang Gang team leader), BONES (consultant to Zrintch) and Douglas (asset of Zrintch) sit around the new and improved communications array that the Ayy-Lmaliums have built into the Dongers' ship. They discover that, while it works, the signals it transmits will take a very long time to reach Cooperative space. Ventura asks Douglas how he got to Meme World so quickly, and he replies that, while the ship he arrived in travels by teleportation, it cannot carry more than two people at a time and that Zrintch has insisted that the Dongers' ship be fixed. Out of options, Hungry-man suggests powering up the ship with the Dedotated Wam, a trophy gained by the Dongers during their previous quest. The Dedotated Wam is shapeless and volatile, but Ventura decides to go ahead with Hungry-man's idea and cram it into the ship's power core. Miraculously, it works, and the message they tried to send to Zrintch earlier reaches its destination. They receive a reply from Zrintch soon afterwards, who tells them that the next mission will include both the Dongers and Wangers going to the planet of Vizima and obtaining an artefact known as the Keruvim.

The next morning, Kevin Douglas climbs back into his mobile workstation and leaves. Ventura is approached by Ade, who persuades him to write a cheque out to Kartouche to buy the matter converter for her. Kartouche accepts the cheque, and orders his enslaved Ta'har to carry the matter converter into the Jet-Ball II. The ship's technicians succeed in reprogramming the converter to serve as an infinite power source, and successfully install it into the ship. Before they leave Meme World for Teruga Prime, Ade offers the characters at the camp site the opportunity to come and fight with her in the civil war against the ZFT, since it will be their last chance to leave the planet. Hassan-ill-Sabah, Space Ryan Gosling, Kurt Lutz, Full-man, Caged Gorilla, Caged Pills, the TF2 Sniper, a HYDRA devotee, Confused Man, Kartouche and his bodyguards and Bane and his men board the Jet-Ball II, while Mr. Blobby, Pootisman, Dolan, James, the Happy People and Dennis decide to stay. The Dongers and Wangers leave in their ship for Vizima, and the Jet-Ball II leaves for Teruga Prime.

In deep space far away from Meme World, Boltman and his YONBOTS scan the planet Dekan for anime. They find nothing, but Boltman commands them to land on the planet just to make sure. Next to where he lands, Boltman notices what appears to be a ship trapped in a time lock. Boltman destroys the device maintaining the time lock, causing the inhabitants of the ship (a cyborg girl named Peacock and a nun named Double), to become unfrozen and challenge Boltman to a fight. Boltman responds by blowing Peacock's head off with a bolt of lightning, causing Double to retaliate by transforming into a floating mass of flesh and limbs. Boltman engages in battle with Double, but his YONBOTS are unable to help him because it seems to them as if Double has one eye. When Boltman tears off part of Double's clothing, revealing a mass of eyes on her midsection, the YONBOTS spring to life and slay Double with their eyebeams. Boltman congratulates his minions on their victory and equips them with the weapons he raids from Double and Peacock's ship. Once finished, they leave the planet, and the ship explodes behind them.

Elsewhere in space, Genetoes emerges from a portal next to the hibernating Eclipse and awakens him, saying that they are needed again.

One week after the previous events, Commander-in-Chief Kong of the Galactic Government is found dead in his office, with one of Boltman's steel lightning bolts embedded in his back. The news report of Kong's death is watched by Moonman, who recognizes the bolt as belonging to his old friend-turned-enemy. Moonman picks up his M4A1 assault rifle and loads it.

Characters

 * The Dong Squad:
 * Jesse Ventura
 * BONES
 * Pumkin
 * Ross Mandell
 * Soldier
 * Randolph Moloch
 * Billy Mays
 * Merasmus
 * No Image Guy
 * Ainsley Harriott
 * Saitama
 * Shell-Shocked Cat
 * The Wang Gang:
 * Hungry-man
 * Patrick Bateman
 * Car Guard
 * The Cataractor
 * Bill Wilson
 * The Fresh Prince of Fresh Fruit
 * The Guy Who Was Engulfed In Milk
 * TTT
 * Ade Jitter
 * Bane
 * Barsad
 * Boltman
 * Caged Gorilla
 * Caged Pills
 * Dolan
 * Double
 * Eclipse
 * Full-man
 * Genetoes
 * Hassan-ill-Sabbah
 * James
 * Juan Avem
 * Kartouche
 * King Harkinian
 * Klaus
 * Kong
 * Kurt Lutz
 * Matt Parkman
 * Moonman
 * Mr. Blobby
 * Neil Matheson
 * Peacock
 * Pootisman
 * The Reddit Alien
 * Sasha
 * Sniper
 * Space Ryan Gosling
 * The YONBOTS
 * Lord Zrintch