Chapter 9: ...Is Not My Friend.

...Is Not My Friend. is the ninth chapter of The Mazkertis Paradox. In this chapter:


 * Lord Zrintch tasks the We'd Warriors with guarding an important upcoming Cooperative meeting.
 * The Tiger Youth establish a temporary leadership in their country on Rhadan following the death of its former ruler, Gaon Kug.
 * En route to Vizima, Bill Wilson tells the Dong Squad and Wang Gang the story of his last encounter with Bane.
 * The Dongers and Wangers finally land on Vizima with the intention of stealing the Keruvim, but are opposed by its protectors.
 * The Heckumvirate defeats Stardust the Super Wizard and destroys his body. Stardust's consciousness returns to his birthplace and summons the Stardust Crusaders to stop Mazkertis.
 * The Stardust Crusaders appear to Lord Zrintch and request his help in finding Mazkertis. Zrintch agrees to an alliance.
 * Niflheim meets User Nif, who sends him with Leviathan to rally the forces of the universe against Mazkertis.
 * Lord Zrintch meets with Mazkertis on Kalta Thaea to update him on the status of his strike teams, revealing that the two were actually allies all along.

Summary
In a flashback sequence set during Day 4, it is revealed that the We'd Warriors met Boltman and the YONBOTS after they killed Peacock and Double but before they left Dekan. When Wal Wal thanks Boltman for eliminating Peacock, Boltman informs Wal Wal of his quest to rid the universe of anime and instructs the We'd Warriors to summon him any time anime is a problem. As Boltman flies away, Old Man Ross informs Wal Wal that their brothers in the Tiger Youth on Rhadan are preparing to raid Gaon Kug's royal palace, and that a ship would be arriving shortly to take the We'd Warriors there.

Meanwhile on Rhadan, the Tiger Youth have succeeded in overthrowing Gaon's regime, with his grandson Kek Kug having pulled the trigger that killed the despot. To prevent any more bloodshed, Sinjon Wol makes an announcement to addresses the remaining rebels and loyalists and inform them that Gaon is dead and his regime is over. The remaining loyalist forces are quashed and the Tiger Youth decide to set up an interim government while the people decide what future their nation should take. Kek Kug, as the next in line to rule the nation due to being Gaon's descendant, encourages Sinjon to become his royal advisor.

On Day 12, the Dong Squad and Wang Gang are en route to Vizima in their conjoined spaceship on a mission to steal the Keruvim, the latest powerful artifact which Lord Zrintch claims is key to preventing "THE HAPPENING". After briefing them on the mission, and making sure to stress that the Knights of the Keruvim must not be harmed, Zrintch flies to Dekan to pick up the We'd Warriors. Old Man Ross grimaces as he detects Zrintch's approach, commenting to Wal Wal that Zrintch was "an old, dark power" that he thought he had gotten rid of hundreds of years ago. Zrintch tells the We'd Warriors that, instead of going to Dekan, they will now be going to guard an important Cooperative meeting venue. The We'd Warriors agree on the condition that they be taken to Rhadan afterwards; Zrintch accepts. As Zrintch and the We'd Warriors leave Dekan aboard his ship, Flesh-Eater emerges from the undergrowth, holding the head of another Dekan warlord.

Meanwhile, a Knight of the Keruvim named Ike raises the alarm upon detecting an object entering the orbit of Vizima, unaware that it is a decoy while the Dongers' and Wangers' real ship is hidden nearby. When the Knights of the Keruvim squadron sent to investigate the object discover that it is just a hollow rock, Saitama emerges and knocks them all unconscious. Axalara then arrives to investigate the situation herself and learns that Saitama is a distraction to keep the Knights occupied while the Dongers' and Wangers' real ship approaches the planet, but is quickly knocked out by Saitama herself. After the Wang Gang disconnects their ship from the Dong Squad's ship, Pumkin uses his immense strength to slap the Wangers' ship into the forests of Vizima where the Keruvim is kept. Komerak, a Platinum Lantern who happens to be on Vizima at the time, is sent to assist the Knights in the ground battle against the Wang Gang while the rest of the Knights combat the Dong Squad in space.

In the Void, the Heckumvirate defeats Stardust by compressing his body into plasma, effectively killing him. As Stardust's essence returns to the Red Supergiant Star that birthed his species, the Stardust Crusaders convene inside the star to learn the circumstances of Stardust's death and consult with his still-living mind. Rather than seek revenge against the entity that killed him, Stardust affirms that his only goal is to end the man who threatens to end the universe: Mazkertis.

Meanwhile, the Cooperative heads of state hold a meeting to discuss whether Space India should be allowed to join the Cooperative. The Space Indian President's speech is interrupted by the arrival of the Stardust Crusaders, who ask for the assistance of the Cooperative in tracking down and apprehending Mazkertis. Lord Zrintch informs the Stardust Crusaders that he already has two teams working on collecting items that will allow him to defeat Mazkertis, and leaves with the Crusaders to discuss an alliance, much to the Space Indian President's chagrin.

On Saskana, Niflheim is searching for a way off the planet when he is suddenly teleported to a crystal palace at the bottom of the Saskanan ocean by User Nif, who introduces himself as Nif's creator. After explaining the nature of the Users, User Nif informs Niflheim that his new purpose will be to gather a large group of supporters to kill Mazkertis and the Kindred of Dawn in order to prevent them from rewriting history. User Nif also summons Levi, Niflheim's familiar spirit who was left behind in their home universe when Niflheim was originally transported into the Original Universe. Confident that Niflheim will fulfil his purpose, User Nif teleports both him and Levi away.

On Kalta Thaea, Lord Zrintch arrives at the meeting of the Kindred of Dawn, revealing that he and Mazkertis are actually old allies.

Characters

 * The Dong Squad:
 * Jesse Ventura
 * BONES
 * Pumkin
 * Ross Mandell
 * Soldier
 * Randolph Moloch
 * Billy Mays
 * Merasmus
 * No Image Guy
 * Ainsley Harriott
 * Saitama
 * Shell-Shocked Cat
 * The Wang Gang:
 * Hungry-man
 * Patrick Bateman
 * Car Guard
 * The Cataractor
 * Bill Wilson
 * The Fresh Prince of Fresh Fruit
 * The Guy Who Was Engulfed In Milk
 * TTT
 * The We'd Warriors:
 * Old Man Ross
 * Abit
 * Jean-Paul
 * Richard
 * Wal Wal
 * Wol
 * The Tiger Youth:
 * Sinjon Wol
 * Kek Kug
 * Dakk Dak
 * Woll Wol
 * Wot Wol
 * Dengdengdeng-deng Deng-dengdeng
 * Memme Meme
 * Ricardo Ross
 * Richard Ross
 * Fig Newton
 * Konn Kon
 * Axalara
 * Aye
 * Boltman
 * Eclipse
 * Flesh-Eater
 * Gabriel Ascheron
 * Genetoes
 * Green Goblin
 * Ike
 * Komerak
 * Leviathan
 * Mazkertis
 * Niflheim
 * President of Space India
 * Raziel
 * Stardust the Super Wizard
 * The Stardust Crusaders
 * User Nif
 * Lord Zrintch